24.11.09


From Jay

to –Z

Why Do We Love Him So?


Nowhere in the world could a more unlikely fan of Jay-Z possibly exist. I ask myself frequently how a 28-year old Caucasian mother of two young boys could possibly attend the musical stylings of an urban rapping cantor, lyrically leading the Church of Hard Knocks. What could I ever relate to in Jay-Z’s music? Growing up on the fast streets of Brooklyn with out a father? The murder of his friend, Notorious B.I.G.? His multiple millions of dollars? Besides both being of the Homo Sapien variety, there is not a single dimension on which we have something in common, making our pairing seem somewhat star-crossed. While I won’t admit it to myself, it’s just as humorous as David Herman’s ‘Michael Bolton’ character from Office Space who secretly listens to gangster rap in his car. The cult classic doesn’t hit far from the truth. Millions of people (including the unlikely) buy his music, clothes, and concert tickets. Heck, even Nas (a rival MC who formerly had biting rhymes directed at Jay-Z) has converted. So how is it that a man whose life contrasts so blatantly with the congregation, has such a following?

While some celebrities are famous for being famous (cough, Heidi and Spencer), Jay-Z is supernaturally talented and has some incredible accomplishments to his credit. Beyond the more than 40 million albums sold, there’s a reason he was recently named number one on MTV’s Hottest MC’s list. Not only is he still relevant and current at almost 40 years old, he also shapes the future of hip-hop culture with his pioneering projects and prose. In his industry, he was one of the first to launch a clothing line (Rocawear), leading the way for Eminem’s Shady line and Kanye West’s Pastel line, among others. He may also be the only rapper to record his mother on an album track (The Black Album) while consistently producing highly acclaimed music and maintain sales at such high frequency. He’s released an astonishing 11 studio albums in the last 14 years (1996 to 2009). His entrepreneurial skills have led to co-ownership of The 40/40 Club, an upscale sports bar in New York, and part-ownership of the New Jersey Nets NBA team, as well as investment in real estate development.

With all his business ventures, you almost forget that he can rap too. And rap he can. Jay-Z is known in the industry for his lyrical dexterity, with double entendre layered upon pun and coated in word play. His rhyming style has evolved over the years, as any good artist should, and thankfully in his case, he grew out of his speed rap style. But throughout his metamorphosis his facility with words has remained unfailing and yet never predictable. In fact, his ability to listen to tracks and compose rhymes without writing them down has been termed his “Divine Flow”. It may be no coincidence then that Jay-Z has dubbed himself J-Hova (a play on the Jewish god, Jehovah). In his own words, “They don’t paint pictures/They just trace me.”

Despite his apparent divinity, Jay-Z has a sinful past, something he admits freely. His rhymes pay homage to his former drug selling days, trying to profit enough to fund his recording artist dreams. He was also accused of (and eventually pled guilty to) stabbing rival record producer Lance “Un” Rivera in 1999 for allegedly bootlegging his Vol. 3, Life and Times of S. Carter album. Since then, his image has been squeaky clean, dating and marrying Beyonce Knowles (whom he never speaks about in public), and even recently appearing on Oprah. He has classed up the acceptable dress code for rappers, making public appearances in suits and silk scarves. And, besides Donald Trump, Jay-Z’s name is now synonymous with New York. If you saw his performance on the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards, you know the power of his influence. First, he only arrived in time to perform the finale and second, his arrival and journey to the stage was filmed for the waiting audience. He was introduced as the Mayor of New York and performed in jaw-dropping style with Alicia Keys.

If his past, occupation, and lifestyle are any indication, Jay-Z is living out more than just his destiny: he’s created his own Eden. And as a result, it’s irrelevant that his life doesn’t mirror mine. Driven by heart and soul, his music, like no religion could, truly is the opiate of the masses. I might be just one of the millions, but like everyone else, I’m hooked.


22.11.09

oh that feeling

I just don' know the answer for somethings. Why has no part of Yuri's life been easy yet Lev seems to truck along without any bumps in the road? (well, maybe except for teething...he seems to really get upset by that). Why do I feel so overwhelmed by being a parent on more days than I'd like to admit? Why can't I admit to myself that I can't do it all? Why am I not okay with my post-pregnancy body? Was I too selfish in another life? Is that why my every moment seems to exist for someone else?

Questions. I don't know the answers and I've had lots of advice. But some days I just struggle with being a mom, cooking meals, cleaning, laundry, etc. I've heard that the toddler and preschool years are the most difficult. Is that why I would rather be at work than taking care of my own children? Does that make me the most awful mother ever? I feel so incredibly guilty with that feeling lately. Seriously, last Thursday I had the day off but I took the boys to the babysitter's just so I could run errands and do things for myself. Yet I felt incredibly guilty and it almost ruined my time alone!

Most times I feel like motherhood has brought out the worst in me. I'm just not enough as much as I try to be. My brain tells me I'm still doing a good job but often I feel like I've fallen short of some kind of expectation that I've set for myself.

Add to all that my many weekends of parenting alone as Dave is out building our dream house. Yes it will all be worth while but it sure is hard to be the only parent in the house on my days off (including the 2 weeks of Christmas break) as well as Saturdays. I usually feel fairly beaten up emotionally by Sunday - hence this post I suppose.

Fortunately, I love my 2 jobs (part time school psychologist and part time psychometrician). So at least that's not adding too much stress to my days. I suppose I just need to keep trucking along. It seems like I'll be in this baby phase forever....

another very 'mom' post, I know. It's where I'm at. I hope other moms can relate - I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who feels overwhelmed by parenting.

I can only hope.

21.11.09

you've never had a year like this...ritually

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I've never truly thought about the historical perspective of many of our religious practices. For instance, why is Easter not celebrated on Passover? When did Christmas begin to be celebrated? The answers are not so obvious as we may think. If you've wondered these things, Joan Chittister goes through the year's religious practices holiday by holiday. Did you know that for centuries, different nations used different calendars (lunar, solar, Roman, Julian, or Babylonian)? So not everyone celerbated holidays or marked time in the same way. Not only enlightening us on bits of history, Joan discusses the meaning behind our rituals with stunning clarity and conviction. Although informative, unless you are more familiar with Roman Catholic church jargon, you may get lost in some of the terminology. Though you can't blame Joan, as she is a Sister. Overall, if you like history you'll like reading the cultural roots of many of our religious practices as Christians.

17.11.09

I shot and created a calendar to support ONE, an organization dedicated to fighting extreme poverty, especially in Africa. You may have heard of one of the directors - none other than Bono. This is one of the images. I'm working out the price per calendar (somewhere between $10-15). Please leave a comment if you would like one. More images to come


(c) lea marie photography

12.11.09

the cost of diamonds

I shot and created a calendar to support ONE, an organization dedicated to fighting extreme poverty, especially in Africa. You may have heard of one of the directors - none other than Bono. This is one of the images. I'm working out the price per calendar (somewhere between $10-15). Please leave a comment if you would like one. More images to come.


(c) lea marie photography